First Day Is Always The Worst

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I’m sorry, poor blog, I have neglected you this past few weeks. I’ve also, sadly, neglected my pole.

The bad thing about pole is that to practice you actually need a POLE. And when you go out of town for a week and a half over Christmas, poles are mighty hard to come by. It also makes going back somewhat painful. Especially if you’re me, and instead of going to one class and easing in, you decide to go to the two-hour epic adventure time version.

Here’s my internal dialog during Pole I and Pole II last night.

Zero Minutes In…
This is great! I missed the studio, I missed my pole sisters, it’s like a family reunion but with more glitter!

Ten Minutes In…
Hello muscles I haven’t used in awhile, I know you’re there, you don’t need to burn so much. I wonder how long it’s been… ten minutes? How was it only been ten minutes, that’s impossible! The clock must be broken. Oh, here we go again, stupid crunches.

Fifteen Minutes In…
Spinning! I missed spinning! Wheeee!

Thirty Minutes In…
Oh I’m dizzy, I don’t remember being dizzy before. Come on body, it’s just a little spinning. Maybe if I spin the other way? Ok, that sort of helped. Time to do the routine again? Ohhhhh dizzy.

Forty-Five Minutes In…
I can’t believe I still remember how to do all this! I was so afraid I’d lost everything – this is great! OUCH… virgin skin.

One Hour In…
Um OUCH! Why do people do this? I have bruises I didn’t have an hour ago. Seriously, this is insane, I should just do Zumba like a normal person. Oh wait, I’d have to buy tennis shoes. Never mind.

One Hour, Fifteen Minutes In…
I’m not going to make it, I’m going to die, and on my tombstone they will write “she died in stripper shoes with a pole between her legs”. I should have left May my pole in my will. That’s it, I’m dead.

One Hour, Thirty Minutes In…
Oh good, floor work, floor work is good, if I pass out I’m already down here, how handy!

One Hour, Forty-Five Minutes In…
Come on bitch, you can do this, you’re so close!

Two Hours…
I did it! I did it! I’m going to be sore for the rest of my life but I diiiiiiid i! I’d happy dance if I weren’t so exhausted.

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